Actor and martial arts master David Carradine, 72, was found dead today in his hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand. According to sources the hotel room was “littered with the bodies of black clad warriors, suggesting Mr. Carradine had been the victim of a ninja attack”. Ninja attacks are not an uncommon problem in Thailand, but the sheer number of dead ninja were said to be “staggering”. Chief Inspector Phuk Pan had this to say, “It was as if the ninja were taken to a great height, and dropped. Limbs were broken and bodies were twisted with great violence. It made me vomit to see the mess.”
Mr. Carradine was found at the foot of a canopy bed sitting in the lotus position favored by Buddhist Shaolin monks when police were finally able to break down the door being blocked by piles of dead ninja. An unearthly glow was said to bathe his body in warm light, illuminating his faint and knowing smile. Upon closer inspection he was found not to be breathing and a small shard of metal was found inbedded in the palm of his right hand. While cause of death will not be known for several days it is believed that the metal shard was actually the broken tip of a poison tipped spear, likely coated in tetrateratoxin, a paralyzing agent and favorite of local crime syndicates, specifically that of The Black Foot.
In his left hand he clutched the famed Amulet of Ravahasu, an ancient artifact said to grant the possessor the power to raise, and command, an army of the dead. Among his personal items was the contact information for Dr. Stephen Wallace, a British nationalist living in Bangkok, and reputed expert on the Amulet of Ravahasu. It is surmised that the victim was ambushed before he was able to make contact with Dr. Wallace.
Investigation is on going.
